I was hoping to find what would be proper in terms of baby showers. I know that my friends are planning something, but I would like to follow Jewish tradition. Thank you for the advice, J.

Shalom, In connection with having a baby shower, I have not found any reference to this in traditional Jewish sources. The accepted practice is to refrain from making a too public show about the pending birth and baby, and so traditionally couples do not have pre-birth parties, or even buy things for the baby before the birth. This is based on the concept that a blessing only resides in things "hidden from the eye" (i.e. things undergone with modesty and not in the glare of the spotlight). This also relates to the concept of an "evil eye," which apart from any spiritual reality it holds, also encompasses the idea that one should not be too self assured of things that are still in G-d's hands. Rather, the time before the birth should be used to draw closer to G-d in prayer and Jewish practice.

After the birth, though, it is a different story. Then you will have an obligation to thank G-d for your, G-d willing, healthy baby. This can be done at the circumcision, or at a baby-naming, thanksgiving party for your friends and family. Of course, this too should not be an over-extravagant affair. But inviting close friends etc. for a meal, or holding a kiddush in synagogue is very acceptable.

It would be proper at the time for someone (you, your husband, the rabbi, etc.) to say a few words of Torah, and to express thanks to G-d for the new baby. At that time it is proper to receive gifts for the newborn. Gifts received before the birth are usually put away until after the birth. Also, giving charity after the birth (and before) is a good thing to do.

I have seen a lovely practice of ladies inviting a group of women friends over to their house shortly after the birth. There they retell the birth story, and in that friendly atmosphere, share their joy with the community (some women say the thanskgiving blessing then also.)

May you be blessed with a healthy and happy birth and baby, and may you and all Israel, be inscribed for a good year.

Rabbi Da'vid Sperling

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