Shalom U'Vracha, I was very
touched to read your letter. I want to send you blessing from
Israel that all will be successful, especially in building
a Jewish family within the Jewish people.
Before I send you any practical
advice, it seems to me that it's worthwhile finding out that
as religious Jews we believe that we cannot fathom God's actions.
While we have to look at our deeds and try to do teshuva [return
to G-d after misdeeds], and understand that everything that
happens in the world is G-d's doing, it doesn't seem to be
of any benefit to think that G-d is punishing you for past
actions.
I see from your letter that
you have done teshuva and regretted actions of the past, changed
your way of life, and have made a firm commitment to Torah
in the future. That is certainly a fulfillment of the laws
of repentance, which, the rabbis of the Gemara teach us, turns
our sins into merits. While this is probably of no comfort
to you, I hope it will help you to place your energies in
having an optimistic outlook, rather than having too much
regret over the past even after you've fulfilled the mitzvah
of teshuva.
And now, onto practical matters,
where can you turn to for help? I would advise you to turn
to Machon Puah, an institute based in Jerusalem established
by Rav Mordechai Eliyahu- a former Chief Rabbi of Israel,
in order to address issues related to fertility, and provide
counseling to infertile couples in need all over the world.
Hundreds if not thousands of childless couples are now parents
on account of the many years Rabbi Burstein and his staff
have spent tirelessly counseling and advising. Rabbi Weitzman
of the institute is an English speaker- and he can be reached
at the address- info@puah.org.il You can access their website at www.puah.org.il
They can also certainly connect
you with people in your community who could best advise you
where to seek help. I hope this advice is helpful, and please
be in touch to tell us how things work out. With Blessings,
Rabbi Da'vid Sperling
