Hello, Would it be possible for you to explain exactly any rituals surrounding a miscarriage that took place after six weeks of pregnancy?

(answer from Rabbi Sperling)

Shalom,

I was sorry to hear about your recent miscarriage. May you be blessed with fruitful offspring and easy labors in the future. The Torah did not institute any acts of mourning or memorial in the case of a miscarriage. Perhaps this is meant to focus our attention on the continual task of love that confronts us in bringing children into the world rather than becoming paralysed by the past. There is a midrash that relates that before G-d created our world, he "created worlds and destroyed them until He saw the world and said it was "very good." The process of creation sometimes involves "creating and destroying," which, with all the pain it entails, ultimately leads to a "Tov Meod"- something "very good."

You ask what are the rituals surrounding this tragic event. Firstly, there are the laws of family purity, involving the cessation of marital relations (and other physical closeness) until all bleeding has stopped after (counting at least five days of bleeding), and then another seven "clean" (free of bleeding) days, after which one immerses in a ritual bath (if the fetus was female, and more than forty days old after the conception, one must wait at least fifteen days after the miscarriage before going to the ritual bath). Apart from the religious obligation involved here, there is also the psychological benefit of letting emotions and the body have a "time out" before restarting the task of creation of a new life.

A person often feels pain and loss at such a time, and this probably would be well channeled into saying Psalms, and personal prayer to G-d.

with blessings, Rabbi D. Sperling

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