If our first child is female, is it traditional to name her after someone on the mother's side of the family or can a name from the father's side be chosen? Thank you.

Answer provided by Rabbi Baruch Finkelstein, coauthor with wife Michal (RN midwife) of Nine Wonderful Months: The Jewish Woman's Clinical Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth

You don't have to name the first child after anybody, you can choose any name you want. If the wife wants to name a baby after someone from the husbands side, she may do this. There is no preference to name the baby after someone from her side.

If however the wife wants to name the baby after someone from her side and the husband wants to name the baby after someone from his side, then she gets preference. The next baby is the husband's choice. It goes like that alternating. Everyone gets a turn.

The most important thing is that there isn't any fighting over the name. Peace between the married couple is always the most important thing. According to this custom the sex of the baby doesn't matter.

There are other customs. For instance, there is a custom where the wife can choose all the girl's names and the husband all the boy's names. The more common Ashkananzic custom is that the wife chooses the name of the first baby, the husband the second, alternating. Again, that is only in case of a disagreement. if they are in agreement on the name, they can choose any name they want, after anybody from anybody's family.

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