My son and daughter in law are having a lot of difficulty getting pregnant. They even visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe's Grave. Are there special prayers they can say or anything else they can do?

Shalom, In reply to your query about helping your children to get pregnant, it would seem that there are several approaches to take.

But before talking about them, I would like to raise two points. Firstly, it was not clear to me if your children have asked you to look into this for them, or not. If the latter, it is often the prudent path to give the couple a lot of "space," and wait until they ask for your help. Of course this depends on your relationship with them, but in many cases even the most well-intentioned parents part can, inadvertently, put pressure on the couple, which can be a cause of stress that further delays conception.

Secondly, I was not clear on how long they have been married. If they are still in the first year or two of marriage (and are not to old - younger than say 35) I would advise, again, a very relaxed approach, without the added stress of a regiment of prayers and "segulot" [auspicious practices]. Give them time to let G-d work through nature, at His own pace. Having said all that, let's talk about different approaches to getting pregnant.

The very first thing is to, hand in hand with all the spiritual efforts, make natural physical efforts. This means, seeking medical advice from a doctor. There are amazing advances in medical knowledge today, which can improve the chances of having a baby greatly.

In the spiritual realm the main emphasis should be prayer. We find with all the barren women in the Torah that they put much effort into prayer. Hanna went to the Temple to pray - and if the couple can make their way to the Western Wall in Jerusalem, all the better. But Sarah stayed home and prayed in the corner of the tent. Heartfelt prayers uttered anywhere are pleasing to G-d. What to say? Any prayer from the heart. But if the heart has no words, the book of Psalms can provide them.

The next area to work in is charity. This can take the form of money given to any worthy cause. Or, one can donate his/her time, helping out in any field. Giving to others brings fulfillment, and also makes one worthy of receiving.

Lastly, repentance. Rather than taking the form of only regret over past actions, one should strive to find a place in his/her life to add and grow personally and spiritually. Taking on one more mitzvah, or refraining a bit more from gossip etc.

There are also many Kabbalistic ideas about "segulot" [auspicious practices] to help get pregnant. If your children are so inclined, they should approach a great Rabbi for a blessing and advice. [Though, be warned: you must search carefully to determine who is a great Rabbi]. Blessings, D. Sperling.

 

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